美國(guó)留學(xué)申請(qǐng)?jiān)趯?xiě)作個(gè)人陳述的時(shí)候很多同學(xué)的開(kāi)頭部分讓招生官厭煩而被拒絕，下面美嘉教育導(dǎo)師為大家盤(pán)點(diǎn)了幾個(gè)讓招生官秒拒的個(gè)人陳述開(kāi)頭。

一、重復(fù)簡(jiǎn)歷型

I earned my Bachelor of Science degree in … Sciences with a specialization in … in 2002 at … university

點(diǎn)評(píng)：美國(guó)留學(xué)個(gè)人陳述不要去重復(fù)簡(jiǎn)歷中的東西，這在很多學(xué)校的PS要求中明確提到，個(gè)人陳述的寫(xiě)作要具體到事件上，事件解決上，而不要單純重復(fù)已有的內(nèi)容。

二、學(xué)校介紹型

I am an undergraduate in…University , the largest university anda cradle of scientific and technological talents in China.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：該同學(xué)的個(gè)人陳述開(kāi)頭等于是一個(gè)申請(qǐng)學(xué)校的簡(jiǎn)介，這好像是在幫助學(xué)校做宣傳，或表達(dá)你有多了解該學(xué)校，而不是寫(xiě)個(gè)人陳述了。這是沒(méi)有意義的開(kāi)頭，白白浪費(fèi)了字?jǐn)?shù)，容易被秒據(jù)掉。

三、抄襲句式型

As a student majoring in Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program. Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy for something new.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 這種句式不知道是從哪里學(xué)到的，很多同學(xué)在用。但你要知道，老外恨抄襲，喜原創(chuàng)，所以利害關(guān)系大家想想吧。

四、救世主型

I am a problem solver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problems before me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice from President Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "The world can be changed by man's endeavor, …

點(diǎn)評(píng)：一副救世主的形象，小時(shí)候就受富蘭克林的影響，立志改變。個(gè)人陳述的寫(xiě)作一定要個(gè)人化具體化，別吹大牛，甚至帶著一種霸權(quán)主義思維。

五、猶抱琵琶型

Making a right decision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, I have come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decision concerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding of oneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarefully thinking, reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination and choose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize in communications which I will pursue a lifelong career.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：重點(diǎn)放在自己要做重大決定上了，人生的轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn)，然后來(lái)上句所謂名言警句。浪費(fèi)字?jǐn)?shù)，有限的字?jǐn)?shù)里，同學(xué)們應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)直接，并且抓住重點(diǎn)，突出自己有優(yōu)勢(shì)的方面，有特色的方面

六、言幼稚型

'Why the gecko can climb on the wall while we can't-' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'How many stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood, I always kept asking my mom all kinds of questions。I am especially interested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hours in order to find out its principle

點(diǎn)評(píng)：上來(lái)就回憶童年少年自己如何有著遠(yuǎn)大抱負(fù)，who cares。個(gè)人陳述字?jǐn)?shù)有限，卻用這么多話(huà)描述童年，沒(méi)有任何意義。學(xué)校想知道你如何看待未來(lái)，而不是如何度過(guò)過(guò)去。